How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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