can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
