You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
well you can't waste a boner
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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