so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
