Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
