I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
