is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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