Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
