So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
