I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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