Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You made out with two different species that night
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
