You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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