remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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