fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
