I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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