Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
