i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize
