the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
