I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
