OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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