is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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