well you can't waste a boner
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
