Someone shit on the floor
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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