She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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