In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
