it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
