I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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