Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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