I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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