if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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