Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
