u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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