It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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