you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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