Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
