I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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