What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
