Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
