alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
