a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
my liver is dry heaving
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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