I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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