That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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