her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
