home. puking in laundry basket.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
