he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
