Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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