office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
