Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
