I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
