so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
