but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
