we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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