i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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