We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
