This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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