somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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