covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
