So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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