i already hear my dad disowning me
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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