new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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