that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
