GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
